See that Gif?
That was me walking into 2017 Determined to be Phuck Boy Free.
Lets see where can I begin.
I kind of wanted to start with a remixed line from the color purple " All my life I had to fight- to keep Phuck boys away from me!"
In this great land that we live- how is it that its so infested with time wasters, manipulators, false mask wearing, only wanting some Poom Poom Phuck Boys.
(click the girl below for Phuck Boy Definitions)
In December 2016 I decided that I was done. I pledged allegiance to my heart,mind, and body that I would be Phuck Boy Free!
I finally had a come to Jesus moment and said to myself " Self!" And self said "hmm!" "Girl you is smart, you is kind and You IS not gonna die a slow and painful death from dealing w Phuck boys."
And guess what! I've got 48 consecutive weeks of winning this War on Phuck Boys so far! Yea thats right, go ahead and clap for a sista! Its hasnt been easy!
I had to IYANLA MY LIFE!
yep that was me sittin on the couch!
I started a prayer box in January 2017 ( I prayed it awayyy, it was like cranes in the skyyyy)!
Anyway, I knew something was going on with me internally, it felt like a meltdown at first but in hind sight -it was me out growing PHUCK SHYT!
It was a total metamorphosis.
Ya girl was Growing!
First thing I did was cut back my fave lover - the most consistent Phuck boy in my life. It was hard too because I thought we were gonna really develop something magical and Sparkly. That was me strait trippin and brainwashed from settling for mediocrity.
Looking back, I am so Happy God takes care of babys & Fools AKA MY Ass!
I dealt with this PB (Phuck Boy or Punk B!tch) for years and never went to his house. No dates or nada.
Time for a song again "Silly of me to think that I could ever have you for my guy, how I love youuu!"
thats right hit the play button while you read ladies, I was a Denise Williams Hot azz mess!
What an idiot I was! I loved all his qualities that had no bearings on how he treated me.
For example I would think : Hes a great dad... hole time we didnt have kids together! Lol.
He gives back to the community, Hole time he aint gave me sh!t but confusion!
He works hard and is about his paper, hole time he never spent a cent of it on me. He didn't even treat me special, but I sure thought he was.
What an idiot I was.
Back to my Prayer Box.....
My first letter to Jesus in my priority mail prayer box was To Get this PB out of my heart and mind, and to bless me w the courage to end this ish!
It took all of 2 months. At this time I was praying hard and watching YouTube hard lol.
YouTube became my vice.
One day I ended up on a page called Carols Universe and got super interested in tarot. (Don't be scared-its not what you think! I'm a good witch!!)
Anywho, I was reading self help books like all of these below:
It was eye opening and really good for a woman like me that was trying SO hard not to respond to those PB Miss you, Hey Stranger, and Be nice text messages that were still coming through!
I then read the Men Don't Love Women Like You, in between watching carols universe tarot readings, and writing to the good LORDT to See Me through this mission!
I was doing good I was making it through! Early January and I decided to get my first tarot reading. I got to ask 4 questions and Carol sent me a video answering my questions. One of the questions I asked was "Am I doing the right thing by giving up on my Phuck Boy....
I know I was De-Effing-Lusional.
Again, I am so blessed that God takes care of Fools aka My Ass.
So I order my reading and I ask like four questions about me and PB. I was so nervous when my reading was sent to me. I opened it and she started with me and my insecurities.
She was really revealing my broken azz one tarot card at a time.
When she answered the question about PB and if I was doing right by giving up on him, the first card she flipped over was none other than "The Devil!"
Followed by a host of other cards that had me packing my imaginary bags and saying oh hell nah I been sleeping with the devil!
Back to the video lol- Carol spoke in her English accent and She said to me " Run my sweet Brett! Dont Do IT!READ SOME LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT! Keep your heart sweet Brett Keep your heart! Lol!
Not what she said verbatim but its close.
I was crushed inside at the reveal in my reading but it was just what I needed to succeed with Being Phuck boy free. She said he's bored baby. He knows he has the upper hand. He's only wants you physically. He's a selfish man. She said "I've seen men like this before, he's a Casanova!" in her English accent.
It was in that my moment that I remembered that I was the sh!t how did I forget that.
Below is a picture from January when I REMEMBERED my worth and value....
How Beautiful is KNOWING!
More to come!!! I hope you all enjoyed the EpiStory!